Barnabas Shaw

He looks for it and he finds it ! The european “expertise” meets the asian naivety in a clash and it’s a penalty, the whistle blows and he goes for the ball.
“Wait a moment who said he is our penalty specialist ?” someeverybody think !
A not very honourable teammate mention a few statistics on certain recent penalty misses !
Bad communication, poor team effort, you are not giving 100% Mitch would say later to the poor sod who just mentioned facts.
Not a problem he looks confident and mini me in goal not particularly scary with his poor Grobelar imitation.
He poses the ball on the ground a few steps back and one to the left like a like an uncombed but literate Ronaldo. The ref whistle and he nonchalantly kicks with his european flair………from distance a black rubber bits mushroom cloud erupts, “must have been a powerful kick” thinks the lonely goalkeeper from the other side of their little green world.
Two more bounces and two more little black clouds appear, the teammates cheer him up but what they actually mean is ….how was that even physically possible……you are paying for the ball if you broke it….you and your ignorant ugly feet……get the bloody boots out of the box…..and someone else ” I told you ” .
To make a story short the poor lad never recovered, he instantly fell (or was pushed?) into the alchol dark tunnel the moment he had his first tequila and finally discovered this part of town called Wanchai where he walks singing a sad italian song that says “Nino don’t be afraid to miss a penalty, you don’t judge a player from these details but from his fantasy, courage and altruism …” (it is a real song !)
He is often seen practising with the ball he got form a previous hat trick shooting at Neptune door with a nightfighter as a goalie.
A rumour says there is a a footage …….
Thursday I will bet you a beer..tequila for you.. on a penalty challenge to recover your confidence…….not a good idea I might destroy it !
Good night my friend

Lads, here is the first of our match reports which I think we should do regularly just to have a good laugh in front a few drinks weekly, at the end of the season and in years to come when we will all be old farts, some sooner then others, Totti will still be playing and Arsenal fans still waiting for a trophy … BTW not the jelly shit you drank tonight which I couldn’t see going down unless spread on a toastie.

Back to business !

Poor Gaffer barely hoping for 12 people showing up (people not necessarilily players) was shocked by a huge turnout that made his job unnecessarily difficult since he notoriously suffers from a lack of time awareness and has cheap watch reason why some of us have been on the bench longer than expected ! !Anyway brilliant display overall ! First clean sheet after season 197879, huge merit to the two goalkeepers who commandered an initially rocky ship to a steady course showing superior leadership skills.

A guy looking like Sylvain but with shortish hair showed up and caused havoc on the left and scored a beatiful first touch goal from an illuminating pass from Touch, you can come again, get regular haircuts whoever you are,Touch ! New kid on the block, open the manual at pag 12 ”assist” read carefully and executed ! Textbook !

Filippo the shy, quiet, stylish, let the ball do the running, italian flair mid ! Quality!Franco hard work back there, remember you can kick those guys when needed they are not your friend if they are not wearing the same colours !Rod man ! Take the ball go home and shut up ! Fantastic hat trick, think Ribery !No surprises from the old heads leading by example !James 75% success only on your signature move, thing Vienna, Prater Stadium and Strauss and you will fly on your heels !Wozza have you got lost ? What were you doing playing left wing back ? Is that why you stayed and kept playing ? Reliable and adaptable.Adam, John solid and efficient as usual !Rob, the new Mitch without the dutch coaching exotic appeal !Damian nice shoes ! Generous.Mark I know it can be frustrating mate, but he is always there maybe just for the last 10 minutes of training but there ! Backbone !Ale, fucking shoot once in a while ! Stylish ….slightly too much.Special mention to the ref quiet, nobody noticed him, even when he gayly blew the whistle nobody could hear a thing and we just got on with it !The Gaffer ! Finally passionate again after last season, even more when Phuket was mentioned ! BTW why you deflate the footballs after the game?I hope I didn’t forget anybody and nobody was offended (more than required) if so I apologize…..but not really.Great game boys, good spirit and so good fun.May Totti be with you.Good nightYour guardianGianluca.

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